授Giving and favors
Giving and getting
English has “give” and “get”. Japanese has three common verbs, and which you use depends on whose viewpoint you take.
The three
Who's receiving, and whose side are you on?
| Verb | Who gives → who receives | Example |
|---|---|---|
| あげる | I or my side → others | 友だちに本をあげる |
| くれる | Others → me or my side | 友だちが本をくれる |
| もらう | I or my side receive from others | 友だちに本をもらう |
Same event
Three ways to say it
I gave Tanaka a book.
Told from the giver's side.
Tanaka gave me a book.
Told from my side. It always comes toward me.
I got a book from Tanaka.
Told from my side as the receiver.
The key rule
Your viewpoint decides
くれる always moves toward you or your in-group, such as your family. You can't say 私が田中さんにくれた. For that, use あげる. And もらう always has the receiver as subject, so you can't say that someone got something from you with もらう; use あげる instead.
With もらう, the giver can take に or から. Use から for a non-person, like a company.
Polite forms
Change the verb for status
| Plain | Polite | Use |
|---|---|---|
| あげる | さしあげる | To someone above you |
| やる | To someone below you or very close to you, or to animals and plants | |
| くれる | くださる | From someone above you |
| もらう | いただく | From someone above you |
Between other people
あげる can stay neutral
Mori gave Suzuki an umbrella.
Neither is on your side, so it's told from the giver's end.
Mori gave my daughter an umbrella.
Your daughter is on your side, so あげる would clash.
In use
With status
My teacher gave me a map.
I received a watch from my boss.
I water the flowers.
I gave my mother a birthday present.
Check yourself
Who received it?
Your turn
Which verb?
I gave my brother a hat.
Say it yourself
After your birthday
A coworker asks about your birthday. Your friend gave you a book, you got a cake from your mother, and you gave your friend some cookies in return.
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